Mother of a Man-Child

My life with teenage boys

New Adventures – So Far So Good February 22, 2013

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When your children enter a new school, whether it’s as a preppy full of anticipation and enthusiasm on the first day, or a year seven starting the journey that is secondary school, just a bigger version of a preppy really when they’re going into “big school”, there is always some anxiety on the part of parents.  Will they like it, will they find friends, will they get lost, will they do well, will their teachers be good, will they make the most of every opportunity they have, and give back to the school as much as they get?

As we have discovered ourselves, each of your children is different, not just at home but at school.  That’s part of the wonderful journey as we watch them grow as individuals and find their place in the world, first at school, and amongst their peers, and later at work, in the land of “grown-ups”.  And as we know, one size school does not fit all, and the challenge is to find options that meet the needs of your child, so they can continue to grow and excel in whatever area they choose.

toolbeltNaturally as our own man-child headed off to TAFE this year to pursue his passion for building, leaving behind mainstream school, we were a little anxious.  All of the same fears are still at work even when they are nearly 17.  But really we shouldn’t have worried.

  • Will he find friends?  In fact he already knew a few boys doing the same course and then bumped into someone he knows well in his own class.
  • Will he meet new people (not the “wrong crowd”)?  It didn’t take him long to be part of a small group that organised a gathering one Friday night.  Great to see them all getting to know each other.  I wasn’t that surprised to learn that they’d already found some nice girls, naturally doing the hairdressing course!!!
  • Will he find his way?  No problems, got himself sorted, early right down to smart tactics to secure a locker for all his gear, and knowing where they offer the free sausage sizzle for lunch or bacon and eggs for brunch.
  • Will he be engaged in learning at TAFE (he wasn’t at school)?  Up early every day, leaving early, getting the work done – all music to our ears!
  • Will he like his teachers?  And will they be good?  He seems to think so, and one of them is already talking of next term when she can offer them building work on-site if they are interested – which he is!  All good.
  • Will he do well?  As we have said to him, if this is what you really want to do, then go for it and work hard.  You want to be the pick of the bunch when the employers come knocking looking for apprentices so aim high at trade school.  The great news is in his first assessment doing a practical task he got 98%.  He was delighted, as were we. 🙂

All of this comes off the back of a moment of panic, which saw him diagnosed with Glandular Fever on the first day of TAFE.  We were waiting for the assault on his body that would lay him low for 2 weeks, but thankfully he seems to have missed that blow.  That said, we will make sure he doesn’t run himself into the ground, for fear it will recur.

As they say, so far, so good.  Our man-child is off to a great start, ticking all the boxes to allay our fears, and by all indications seeming to have found his niche.  We are confident it will continue, and are thrilled to see the first signs of success, because as we all know, success in itself it can be such a great motivator.

Did your kids start at a new school this year?  As a preppy or Year 7?  How did they go?  Did you have the same anxieties as me?

I have written about my own memories of school here following our recent 30 year reunion:  School Memories.  30 Years On.

 

 

The great Costco Adventure…… February 15, 2013

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shopping trolleyLast week I promised I would take the kids to Costco, in an attempt to fill the fridge and pantry with enough food to stave off 3rd world hunger in our house, at least for a short time, and keep the men-children temporarily sated.  So off we went on Sunday, to the land of the giants as my daughter described it.  I actually thought “Bunnings/Ikea for food” was pretty accurate once we arrived.

The first thing I noticed – everything about Costco is super-sized.  The trolleys (so you can fit all the stuff you don’t need in it), the shelves (they really do go up to the roof), the size of the aisles (to allow for the big trolleys), the produce on the shelves (you either buy massive sizes of everything or multiples), even some of the customers. 🙂

Our first task was to work out the layout and get ourselves oriented – no easy task at Costco.  Hats off to Bunnings with their numbered and labelled aisles and knowledgeable staff – you can always find your way to what you want.  Unlike Ikea – similarly well planned (by the Swedish masterminds), although in such a way that you just meander forward (or occasionally in circles), passing every item on the way so that you will invariably buy countless useless things for home.  A very different strategy, but equally effective.

Costco however, wasn’t quite so obvious.  It was a big open space, with the most amazing variety of stuff – I am told they even sell diamond rings! – and no obvious layout when we first arrived.  Apart from electronics we noticed the mounds of clothing in the middle (expensive over-runs), and eventually found our way to the general food area.  So we headed to one “end” and worked our way down the first set of aisles, the boys picking up lots of stuff they thought they wanted, then putting half back when they realised they probably wouldn’t consume that much American mustard in a year.

Naturally half way through, they got hungry, so they had a pit stop at the “food court” (surprisingly small compared to everything else at Costco), and rejoined me and Sister of a Man-Child at the Deli and Bakery end where we shopped the fresh food.

So what did we buy you ask, and would I recommend a trip to Costco?  Well, we were pretty clever, and really only bought stuff we know we already use a lot of – pastas, cheese slices, cereals, sports drinks, deodorant (with 3 men in the house, a 6 pack was a no-brainer), muesli bars, muffins and croissants (supersized of course).   And then mega bulk packs of washing powder (you don’t want to know how many loads a week we do).  The fresh deli, cheese and meat section had some very nice produce too – even Father of a Man-Child was happy with his Boscastle pies!

I kept reminding the boys it was only useful if we would eventually eat it, or use it, or could store it somewhere in the house.  Apparently my $385 bill was NOTHING compared to some of my friends, but hey we were Costco virgins after all.  I do plan on going back on a regular basis – the boys have been delighting in the overly full fridge all week.  And it would definitely be handy if you were entertaining a lot of teenagers.  Either way, it has saved me some money in the battle to feed hungry hordes (as does Aldi versus the other two supermarket giants).   BTW, if you are expecting super-cheap, it’s not.  You do need to know your prices, and then you will save money.

Next time I plan on going alone – just me and my supersized trolley.  I will take time to explore every aisle, and really see what’s there, and find the hidden gems and real bargains (oh and the diamonds).

It’s a shame it’s in Docklands, but I hear they are opening one in Ringwood which would suit me better.  Anyone who wants to come for a trial run, please let me know.  I am happy to take you on a guided tour. 🙂

 

Teenager starving in Kew! February 8, 2013

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plateAny mother of a teenage boy will be familiar with the relentless appetite of an adolescent, especially one that plays sport.  The “hollow legs” that just cannot be filled, the starvation that overtakes them 10 minutes before dinner, and sees them consumer several toasties before then sitting down to a full meal.

So the other morning, it was no surprise, although somewhat annoying, to hear man-child standing in the pantry complaining “there’s no food”!  Of course that’s not quite accurate, I am a dedicated mother who does ensure that we have food in our house – as I pointed out to him, you’re not exactly starving like some poor child in Ethiopia, they would be amazed at the variety and abundance of food in our home.  To be more precise and translate, it was not the sort of food he wanted!!

I mentioned that I had recently bought enough hot cross buns to feed the remaining Catholic population in Australia, along with other food for school lunches, and that I didn’t really think there was “no food” at all in the house.

Naturally the conversation continued (he would call it a lecture) as we got into the car for the drive to school for the 6am rowing start (yes, I repeat dedicated mother), that if there was some particular food items he wanted, perhaps he could go down the street and get them himself, or at least leave a list so the next supermarket visit could be spent buying his lordship the required supplies.

He told me he was busy with school, then rowing after school, then doing homework, and couldn’t possibly do it himself.  I told him I was busy getting up at 5am to make school lunches, fresh fruit salad, before going to gym and then to my own full time job before coming home to do domestic duties and late night work and would he like to swap!!!!

So the solution you ask?  Apart from sending him to Ethiopia for his next work experience project, I have suggested we finally venture to Costco.  He loved this idea, having heard about the vast packs of frozen pizza and various other items you can buy.  So I’ve got my membership, and recruited the entire family for a visit on Sunday.  Even sister-of-a-man child is excited about the treasures she might discover at Costco.  It seems there is no end to the “useful” things we might find in the sky high aisles that await us.  Do you think one trolley will be enough?

Anyway, I’ll let you know how our trip to Costco goes.  If it’s anything like Bunnings and Ikea, already I know I won’t leave empty handed. 🙂

I have written about their appetites before (The Locust Plague) and about how good they have it (Hotel Kew – Room for Rent)

 

 

Joy Riding Men-Children? Not Happy! February 1, 2013

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As you know, we have two Learner drivers in the house.  Almost a year on, so far so good.  They are learning to drive.  They are putting in the hours to reach the required experience milestone (not quite as fast as their friends since there are two of them to share the driving opportunities).  And to date, we have had no bingles or near misses (although perhaps a few more grey hairs for their parents)!

However, not all is as it seems.  Father of a Man-Child was recently made aware by a neighbour that she had seen one of our sons behind the wheel of his car – alone!  Yes, an UNLICENSED 16 year old driving a car!!!!!  We have since deduced it was during our holiday last year when we left the boys in Melbourne with my sister for a week.  Hmmm, next time we won’t be leaving the car keys will we?

Suffice to say a bit of investigation led us to discovering that in fact BOTH of the men-children have driven their father’s car without an accompanying parent in the car.  (One accidentally dobbed the other one in – that went down well as you can imagine).  Almost as well as the knowledge of their offence.  At this point in time they are both probably thinking it would have been preferable to be caught by police and given a warning than to be caught by us.

As they deserved, we went absolutely nuts when we found out and spelt out for them just SOME of the potential consequences of their incredibly STUPID behaviour (which from discussions with friends appears to be solely a male trait, not a female one).

  • For starters, if they have an accident, the car is not insured, nor is any other damage to property covered.
  • Even worse, should they injure a person in an accident, they could be convicted of a criminal offence (there goes your future), and also sued for damages (their goes our house/future etc).
  • Of course, the likelihood of ever getting their precious license if they are caught driving unlicensed diminishes somewhat doesn’t it?  Great for the tradie who wants to be an apprentice driving a ute in about a year’s time.  That might be a career limiting move?
  • Plain common sense (not common in teenage boys as we know) is that they are still learning to drive, hence the reason experienced adult drivers accompany them.  Accidents DO happen, and not just in Dandenong!  So whilst they think they are good drivers (with only one hand on the wheel), adults know they are not.

What made us feel even worse was their defence of their behaviour – we know how to drive, all our friends do it, blah blah.  The fact that this behaviour is rampant amongst their friends makes me furious.  I could understand (even expected) that at some stage they would take our car without permission one day, once they got their licence, and drive somewhere they shouldn’t, but we certainly didn’t expect they would do it whilst Learners.

1982 Toyota CelicaI must confess to taking my mother’s super shiny, new and very cool Toyota Celica sports car (with sunroof) in the early 80’s to Portsea for the day without my parents’ permission.  Naturally (as my friends came to expect), I got caught!  Two simple things gave me away:  a very sunburnt forehead (the downside of a sunroof), and a speedo with an extra 200kms on the clock – yep, my father was way too smart for me! 🙂

As for our boys, they have been warned about EVER thinking about driving unlicensed again.  And of course, they will be punished for their stupidity.  One is still trying to negotiate his way out of his punishment (not on your life), and the other is still awaiting his – it has to hurt so we have to wait for the right opportunity.  I know it sounds pretty mean, but they just have to understand it cannot happen.  And sadly, it also means that we cannot trust them and so can’t leave any car keys in the house again.

It is not often we think our boys are stupid, but in this instance, common sense has certainly been absent.  It is when you realise that the feelings of being invincible, and knowing everything, and having your whole life before you is the stuff of naive youth (and our men-children), and that one day they will look back and know how wrong their behaviour was, and realise just how right their parents were.  In the meantime, we will just wait for the next hurdle to leap over in the steeplechase of adolescence.

I have written before about our Learner drivers:  read more here and here.

 

The Parent-Child Divide January 25, 2013

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As the men-children approach their 17th birthday (yes, nearly 18 years ago two small cherubs entered our lives), it seems we just get further and further apart at the moment.  Not surprisingly, their independence has escalated substantially in recent years, but so too has their disconnection from us, their parents, to the point we can barely sustain a conversation with them.  I hope that’s normal?

They are naturally interested in talking to you when they want something – money (thankfully less frequently since at least one of them has a job!), a lift somewhere (in 12 months they won’t just want a lift but the entire car!), permission to go out or have someone over (at least they still ask, although you don’t want to be here if we occasionally say “no”!!!).

baboonHowever, should we attempt to engage them in conversation, it is seriously like talking with a mute baboon.  They just don’t seem to want to give you anything more than a one or two-word response.  Unless of course you are texting them, in which case they seem to be able to SMS more quickly than the time taken for their brains to connect to their mouth and utter words, so you tend to get a longer reply.  If you can’t beat them join them?

And then I think back to when I was their age, and how much time I wanted to spend with my parents.  Yep, that would be ZERO.  NADA.  ZIP.  So are they any different to us as teenagers 30 years ago, or any other teenager today?  Probably not, although I think our men-children are towards the extreme end.

I do recall my final year at school with fondness, when I spent more time just talking with my mother.  I assume it was me finally maturing at 17 years of age, and realising that we could have adult conversations about interesting things, and that it wasn’t completely daggy to do so.  Also doing VCE meant I spent a lot more time at home, so it was probably inevitable.

Does Father of a Man-Child fare any better – you know, the father-son bond that is more important and/or influential at this age?  He says not, except maybe in the car, when you have a captive audience, but then he says you end up arguing half way through the drive because you’re trying to teach them some good road sense (L-plates remember) or reminding them to put TWO hands on the wheel (yes, as I’ve mentioned before, it’s a boy thing!!).

So all in all it’s a joyous time to be parents to the men-children.  Sometimes you wonder why we bother to do anything for them – you really don’t feel obliged to provide much for them in any way, when you are left to feel like a door mat, unpaid slave, chef, driver, housekeeper, etc.

Anyway, we’ll hang in there (breathe, count to ten), and hope that things improve a little when we get back into the rhythm of school/TAFE in a few weeks time.   That does have a tendency to bring some normality back into everyone’s life in our house.   And we’ll soak up the joy of a 9-year-old daughter who still thinks her parents are pretty awesome. 🙂

If you have survived the teenage years, please tell me ours are “normal”?  It would make me feel a lot better.  And if you have any tips for getting through to grunting, testosterone-laden men-children, please share!  I would be very grateful.

 

Surviving New Years Eve January 18, 2013

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Happy New Year to all!  Back after a three week break feeling very refreshed, although no doubt a week back at work will undo all the relaxation. Nevertheless, it was a very successful holiday with the kids, especially the men-children.  Testimony to this was the last night of our holiday away, when we asked if they would like to return to the same destination, and the same house next year, and the response was a resounding yes.

Initially we were somewhat concerned at the absence of the boys every day and night during our holiday– they were so quick to find their mates and things to do, father of a man-child felt we had wasted our money hiring a house that catered to the boys with their own sleeping and living area.  However we then reconsidered our position and agreed that a holiday where they were out having a good time, and we were having a good time with our daughter and friends and family was great for all.  A win-win so to speak.

Sister of a Man-Child wasn’t quite so enamoured with her holiday.  I suspect two things were a factor – one she loves having playmates, especially at the beach, so we need to ensure we catch up with friends and other kids (in the absence of her brothers).  And two, she did have a small accident that probably marred her holiday a bit.  Walking into the path of a cyclist doing almost 30kmh and being knocked violently to the road is bound to hurt.  So much so that we needed an ambulance to attend and a trip to the local hospital for some stiches and patching up of various grazes from top to toe.  Thankfully no broken bones so it didn’t completely ruin the second half of her holiday.

beer bottlesThe run up to NYE was interesting in itself.  We had kindly agreed that one of our men-children could have some friends to stay for the night, as most of his friends weren’t “local” to our holiday destination.  Of course, the pressure continued from him (or really his friends) to have more and more to stay.  I stood my ground to ensure we weren’t completely overrun with teenagers and successfully capped the number of bodies on spare mattresses on the actual night.  I also insisted that the girls that were attending (and not well known to me) either have their mothers call me or I would call them.  I wanted to be sure that firstly they had actually told their parents exactly what they were doing on the night, (yes, I have been a teenage girl before), ie. drinking alcohol, partying at the beach, then walking back to our home, and that also their parents understood that with our own friends to entertain, we weren’t going to be available to chase teenagers all over the place at midnight.

Controlling the sleep over was one thing, controlling “pre’s” (that’s short for pre-party drinks) quite another.  Naturally once the address was known, it seemed there were a few extras who decided they could come to our place early on New Years Eve (a bit stressful initially).  It gave me some insight into how quickly a party could get out of control and how strict you need to be with “invitations”.   So we had about 10 friends of one man-child, and suddenly the other man-child decided he too wanted to get into the act, so next thing he’s invited “the bois” (sic) and we have another half dozen teenagers.  To be fair he did ask permission first, and we did request names so we knew exactly who was attending (and all of them were known to us).

So what did we learn hosting a small gathering of teenagers for approx. four hours of “pre’s”:

  1. Make sure you feed them (helps line their stomachs and soak up the alcohol).  Keep it simple – snags, chicken wings and potato gems (I kid you not) proved very popular.
  2. Find countless excuses to “mingle” regularly.  Between several adults we did this, whilst also watching them from a balcony above at any rate.
  3. Don’t be afraid to interfere or take control, especially since it’s your house.  When we saw the shot glasses come out, they were quickly confiscated and the kids told “no shots on my watch thanks”.
  4. Expect the unexpected.  Like the girl whose mother dropped her off with a “thanks for having her to stay” and left me standing their gob-smacked thinking hang on a sec, that name wasn’t on the list.  I told the daughter I didn’t know where she planned to stay, but it wasn’t at our house and she knew that, and so did my son.
  5. Don’t be surprised to see just about every teenager smoking as well as drinking.  I really couldn’t believe they all smoked cigarettes – I thought in the last 30 years maybe things had changed in terms of attitudes to smoking.  Sadly, it seems it has not.
  6. Be thankful you are having “pre’s”.  It’s way less messy than what follows.

And what did my boys learn from the night:

  1. As parents we are “okay” sometimes, since we actually let them have “pre’s” and friends to stay.
  2. However, as parents we also call the shots and stick to our guns.
  3. We do like their friends, except the ones who lie to our faces.
  4. And lastly, that NYE is highly over-rated.  Naturally, once they hit the beach, where alcohol was prohibited (good), the party atmosphere died off pretty quickly and they were all home by about 12.30pm.  Even better.

There was a minor fuss the following day, when I learned that a few of them had been “rescued” from the beach late at night, having told another parent that we wouldn’t allow them to stay, and offered a bed at their house.  Instead of the REAL truth which was they were never INVITED to stay at our place in the first place.  And then they had the gall to turn up to our house the following morning to be collected by Mum.  You can imagine my views of the offending girls and how welcome they will be at my place in future can’t you?

So that was New Years for 2012/13.   We all survived it, and we all enjoyed it.  Will we do it again in 12 months time?  We shall see. 🙂

 

Season’s Greetings December 27, 2012

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christmas tree
Season’s Greetings to all. Christmas has come and gone, and so too has Santa for another year. The presents have been opened, the lashings of food devoured, the wine savoured, all shared joyously with family and friends.

Now the real wind down begins, in the great Australian tradition, with a beach-side holiday. No doubt there will be a few stories to tell of the boys New Year’s Eve adventures, but for now dear readers I am taking a short break, as I hope you are, and recharging the batteries. That means time away from the laptop (and other devices), and therefore my blog.

Thank you for your continued readership of my blog during 2012, and I look forward to entertaining you with more man-child tales in 2013.

 

The Piercing – It’s Official December 21, 2012

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They say a picture paints a thousand words.  So here it is.

piercing

Yes, that’s right, man-child has done it.  He’s actually got an eyebrow piercing.  Now that he’s left school, and he’s 16 years old, he’s apparently allowed to, without needing parental permission.  No doubt he’ll fit right into trade school next year and the building sites in due course (yes I know I am painting a picture of a stereotypical tradie here, not necessarily an accurate one.  Apologies to my tradie friends who don’t have piercings).

As the man-child did warn me the other day, and Father of a Man-Child had actually told me he’d had it done, I was pretty calm by the time I actually saw it.  Father of a Man-Child, on the other hand, was not.  He insisted it be removed ahead of a special dinner out on Sunday night, for various reasons, including respect for his father (grandfather to the boys).  I explained (as others who have had piercings will know) that you actually can’t remove it for 6-8 weeks, so the solution is to cover it for the night with a small bandaid.

I think there is some concern about the opinion of one grandfather in particular, but I also think husband may be surprised by the mellowing of his own father’s attitudes in regard to this sort of thing.  Certainly there is anger that our son has got the piercing, with little respect for anyone else, and to be honest, I can empathise, to a point.  But I also recall our nephews going through exactly the same thing, and neither now has them in their 20’s, so I am confident in time he will remove it of his own free will.   And let’s face it, at least it’s not a tattoo!!!

For those who are curious, I asked where one goes to get an eyebrow piercing these days.  I was quite amused to learn he was referred to a reputable establishment apparently – called “Off Ya Tree”.  And yes they do sell exactly what you would expect.  Say no more!

 

School holiday madness December 14, 2012

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HolidaysThe men-children are now on school holidays for at least 8 weeks.  In the case of one, he won’t be returning to “school” officially (TAFE instead as you recall next year) so he probably feels like someone who just got released from gaol.  And with the freedom from their normal schedules, they seem to believe they are also released from all other responsibilities.

I am not sure whether it’s a boy thing, or just a man-child thing (meaning my own sons), but all common courtesy, common sense, and common helpfulness has evaporated completely from the boys since holidays began.  They seem to believe that a carefree existence is normal for them and therefore for everyone around them.  We don’t know where they are, where they are going, when they’ll be home for dinner, if they’ll be home at all, and if they are they may have a few mates along with them.

Now I don’t know about everyone else, but I do believe it is common courtesy and respect for one’s parents that you at least keep them in the loop.  But no, our men-children seem to have their own ideas.  I do see it as a major failing on my part as a parent that my sons have not learnt such basic skills, so I can only hope that it’s an adolescent, carefree (and careless) attitude that will slowly fade as they morph into adults, with increased responsibilities.

Since they are so rarely here for dinner, our rule from a while back is we don’t even cook for them on school holidays, such is their unreliability.  If they expect dinner, then they need to let us know they will be here.  The reality is our habit is to cook for five people, so there’s generally enough if they “drop in” to join us.  However the other night, one of the men-children strolled into the kitchen and asked “what’s for dinner?”  As it was a Friday night, and I had of course worked all week, I simply explained (without an ounce of guilt):  “It’s Friday night, I don’t cook on Friday night.  Get your own.“  It works both ways!

Such is the extent of their rudeness, and seemingly lack of ability to even grasp the most basic of skills, the other day, one of the men-children was asking for the address of the holiday house we will stay at over summer.  When I enquired for whom, I was advised it was for all the people who were going to stay at our house on New Years Eve.  Well, you can imagine how quickly I hit the brakes on that conversation, doing a little more fact-finding very quickly.  Small details like how many are you inviting, and whom exactly?  And do their parents know that a bed (mattress on the floor) does not constitute me accepting responsibility for their under age daughters at Portsea for new years?   He was aghast that I not only expected the parents to phone me to make sure it was kosher, but if they didn’t then I would ring them all to ensure the ground rules were clear.  You see, I have been a 16-year-old girl before, so I know how it works (and how the truth can be very distorted depending on what you actually SAY).

After a lecture about the courtesy of actually asking before you invite five friends to stay, the same man-child went out that night to a gathering.  He had a few mates here before hand (of course he didn’t ask), went off to the party, and told me he didn’t know if he was staying at home or at his girlfriends for the night. I was pretty surprised to hear him and three mates arrive home at 3.30am at our house, (yep, thanks again for the heads up – they don’t listen or learn clearly), and then proceed to start-up the play-station for a few games.  No they don’t care if someone else (twin brother) is trying to sleep upstairs too.  So I yelled up the stairs to shut it down and get to bed – there was no argument – a grumpy mother always wins at that hour.  But I was left lamenting again why he just didn’t get my point of earlier in the day, and have ANY consideration for anyone else.

When the same child mentioned that he was planning to have some mates over to christen the new “party” deck we have just built, we casually asked how many that might be.  “Oh 15, maybe 30 people”!  WTF.  He has no idea…..really.

It is times like these that Father of a Man-Child and I tend to shut down their social lives, rein them in, ensure they’re at home for dinner, and use the chance to get some normalcy back in their lives and ours.  Sometimes the routine of being at school can actually be good for everyone.

So am I being unreasonable?  Or am I a stressed out parent who should just RELAX a bit more about her teenage boys?  Does a few weeks/months of being carefree matter at the end of the day, for them or us?  Or should I just accept that I am losing control of them, they are 16, and it ain’t going to get any easier to tell them what to do, as one reminded me the other day, when he casually mentioned that the piercing he has been so in favour of for a few years is now likely to become a reality very soon now that he has left school – great!

The last time he mentioned getting a piercing, we had to argue very strongly with him to avoid it.  Read more here.

 

 

The joys of single parenting December 7, 2012

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I recently spent a full week playing single parent, whilst Father of a Man-Child was off at “boot camp”.  I have to say, when you work full-time and have 3 kids and a household to manage, it’s pretty hard work.  I did a fair bit of travel a few years back for work (including some great overseas trips), leaving Father of a Man-Child in charge.  I realise now I owe him a medal for his efforts.  It’s Herculean just to make sure they don’t starve each day, with school lunches and daily dinners to prepare, let alone squeezing in all the other stuff you need to do, like gym, feeding rabbits and keeping the washing pile under control, whilst also ensuring you are at work on time and never late for aftercare pick up.  Oh, and then being on top of your game at work – it’s not where you spend the day having coffee and chilling is it?  All in all an exhausting week.

Nevertheless I would do it again in a heartbeat for the same results.  We recently packed Father of a Man-Child off to boot camp for a week to kick-start a healthy lifestyle.  At our age, the bad habits of a lifetime can really start to catch up with you, and let’s just say that Father of a Man-Child had done an excellent job in developing a long list of really bad ones, that all needed addressing.  A not so subtle threat finally convinced him to consider a couple of venues for his incarceration, and to his credit, he opted for the hardest of them all – as in the one most like hell on earth for someone with bad habits.

red applesSo how did he fare with 7 long days and nights not smoking, or drinking alcohol or caffeine, deprived of red meat, bread, dairy foods, full cream milk, and expected to sustain himself on fresh fruit, salads, fish, more salad, vegetables, more salad, soup, did I mention salad?  And to add to his woes, no TV (that means no sport to watch), no internet, or mobile phone?

You may be surprised to know that he managed it very well.  Whilst he didn’t exactly enjoy it (by day two he told me in a rare phone call from “prison” that he was hanging out for a hamburger and a packet of cigarettes), he did arrive at the end of his term with a whole new attitude, and understanding for the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.  Now for those of you who know Father of a Man-Child, I am sure you would be very surprised to hear him talking about the benefits of Tai Chi, or all the bad stuff in mayonnaise (“not for me thanks”), or sipping black tea in the morning in lieu of his regulation coffee and cigarette to start the day.

We are all thrilled at the conversion of Father of a Man-Child in such a short time.  Already, he’s a candidate for the BUPA ad, you know the one where they show the healthy you versus the unhealthy you.  In seven short days, putting in good stuff, and no bad stuff, exercising, and getting some sun has him positively glowing with health.  The one short-term set back is that in embracing the opportunity to exercise daily he suffered an apparently common injury at boot camp, arriving home with a badly torn tendon in his foot.  Once he is back walking normally, he aims to keep the long walks and exercise up.

So hat tip to Father of a Man-Child, and all our encouragement to keep up the good habits you have learnt.  Mother of a Man-Child thanks you for having the courage to do it, and the Men-Children and Sister of a Man-Child thank you for extending your life and staying around a whole lot longer to watch them grow up!!!!

For those who are curious to know where he went, it was Golden Door, in the hinterlands behind Brisbane, Queensland.  Highly recommended by Mother of a Man-Child. 🙂