Mother of a Man-Child

My life with teenage boys

Of men and manners? January 29, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mother of a Man-Child @ 11:24 am
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There seems to be one in every family. The one who thinks that “dropping their guts” to put it ever so crudely is amusing to every one else in the household. So with absolute delight, and no regard for anyone, my “Teenage-Child” (not to be confused with his twin brother the Man-Child) regularly shares his gaseous bodily functions with us all – in the car, the family room, the kitchen, the study, the bathroom – there is no boundary. But of course it’s only shared with the best company (his long-suffering family), never at school, on the tram, or at a mates place….and he literally delights in it. I kid you not he absolutely pisses himself laughing about it. And on the odd occasion, I must admit it is funny – but I try not to laugh. Especially if it has any odour whatsoever. But the other day it was so loud and abrupt, I literally thought it was a fake – seriously. I can only wish.

Apparently even my father has enjoyed the same delights from my teenage sons – who knows what he thought? I can hazard a guess – those private school fees are really paying off!

Further joys of my sons manners will no doubt follow – ah yes, the eating function……


All in good taste January 28, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mother of a Man-Child @ 9:35 am
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Here’s a story sure to prove that mother and man-child don’t share similar taste (even vaguely close).

One of my twin boys was happy to shop with me at Myer to spend his Xmas voucher. We shopped in the post Xmas sales, and he bought some cool stuff (Nike Airs, groovy check shorts – label unknown to both of us) at good prices. The other twin (man-child) went off to the sales with his mate, and bought some clothing also.

He purchased two Mossimo t-shirts (not even discounted – complete rip off) and one CHARMING t-shirt with a female form on the front, complete with naked breasts!!! (Since the image borders on soft porn I haven’t included a photo).

Now, first, I am not a total prude. Second, I am not a complete dag either. As a full-time working mum in the digital space I am  the opposite actually. I was on Facebook long before my obsessed teenagers, and they wouldn’t even know what twitter is….. however, I draw the line at basic degradation of the female form. I was hopeful that my morals (and those of my husband) had rubbed off on my son – after all, he lives in a family home with parents who are law-abiding, respectful, and church going (okay, only once or twice a year). I guess I expected more in the year 2010….was I wrong?

As I pointed out to my son, he will not be allowed to wear the said offensive t-shirt in our house, nor do I think he should charm his friends mothers with it. Moreover, I would be VERY interested to know what his female friends (of which there are many) think of it. I actually asked my other twin if he would wear it – a resounding “no” (yes, he may have said that to get his brother in even more trouble)!

I don’t think it’s at all “cool”, and I don’t think many of his friends will either. I think his wallet and brain had one of those testosterone surges that takes over all rational behaviour, and bingo – you have the next stupid thing done by a teenage boy in front of his mate. I have no doubt if he had shopped with one of his girlfriends it would not have been purchased.

So the lesson – try not to let them shop with a $200 voucher on their own. Do look at all their purchases. Do tell them you think they made the wrong choice. And don’t wash it EVER – that way he won’t get to wear it very often…….

Comments welcome. Am I being too prudish?


Welcome to my blog January 22, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mother of a Man-Child @ 8:08 am
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For those who are wondering what this blog is about, I am the mother of twin teenage boys, who are almost 14 years old, as well as a 6 year old (heaven-sent) daughter. Following yet another discussion (or as he would say lecture) with my “man-child” it occurred to me that if this was happening to someone else it would actually be funny.

So I was inspired to start this blog, with a view to sharing some funny anecdotes with my friends, welcoming feedback and comments, other stories and experiences that might actually make me feel a little normal – because more often than not I feel like an impostor standing in my mothers shoes delivering home truths to teenage boys who look at me with such contempt sometimes I feel like shriveling up and dying.

To be fair, I seem to have one “man-child” currently (I do think he is actually 13 going on 23) and one quite normal teenager, who seems content to do normal teenage things.

Maybe it’s because I am a twin myself, now observing my very different twin boys, that it seems such an interesting study in human nature and the role of nurture versus nature.

Anyway, here goes my blog. It’s definitely not twitter (honestly for me a complete “twat”) but an opportunity for me to vent occassionally and hopefully amuse some of my friends. That said, this blog is designed to be largely anonymous, in the interests of protecting my sons from the embarassment of their clearly disturbed mother.

I hope you enjoy my stories and occasional rants. I for one am hoping it will prove to be largely cathartic. 🙂