Mother of a Man-Child

My life with teenage boys

Mother of a Man-Child: Camping Man-Child Style! July 1, 2011

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hutchieOne of my men-children is off to school Cadet camp this week for two nights roughing it in the cold winter of Melbourne.  If he comes home with frostbite it’s not my fault!  All my best nagging and attempts to organize him failed dismally – clearly he doesn’t take after me – the most organized person my friends know!

The camp is a Bivouac – so called because it refers to a military encampment made with tents or improvised shelters.  That means Man-Child II is sleeping in a Hutchie (see pic) – which is very, very basic accommodation and clearly doesn’t lend itself to warmth, and also cooking his own meals from specially prepared cadet ration packs (yum?).

Naturally the Cadets (who are officially a part of the Australian Army) are a well oiled machine – we’ve had instructions sitting at home for at least a month outlining all the details of the camp and what was required of the attending boys.  Naturally Man-Child II, aka Mr Last Minute, did absolutely nothing about the camp until the day before.  I must admit I didn’t come across the notes until the end of the weekend, and then went into a state of mild panic since he only had three days to get organized.

And so Mr Last Minute went to the “cadet store” at school the day before camp to pick up what he needed (apparently).  That of course was exactly one week after the deadline for them to pick up their equipment – he assures me the place was full of boys on the day he went – I shouldn’t be surprised.

That night, after much hyperventilation by Mother of a Man-Child, we finally went through the list and the questions started……”What’s a C-H-U-X, I need one of them” (yep, a dish-cloth, clearly far too foreign to Man-Child).  “And what about a S-C-O-U-R-E-R?”  See first point!   I felt panic coming on when he asked me if we had a Hexamine Stove!  What??!!  Oh yes, of course, let me just pull that out of the cupboard that contains all the camping equipment this non-camping family have!  He was supposed to get it from the cadet store – whoops.  Guess he’ll be enjoying uncooked two-minute noodles for lunch and cold beef & vegie stew for dinner.  Unless he can borrow someone else’s stove.  Really I could have clocked him one.

They sleep in a Hutchie on the Bivouac – yep, under a canvas tent sheet basically.  At camp they are given the hutchie, sleeping mat and cords.  It was only through us cross-checking the list we discovered he hadn’t collected the tent pegs – a vital component if the picture is accurate.   Luckily I found some tent pegs in the kids play tents that will probably do the trick.  Either that or he’ll be sleeping cloaked in a canvas sheet.

And then we came to the clothing to pack.  For good reason they don’t take much as they have to carry everything in their pack.  But they were given a list of essential clothing to take with them, including beanies and gloves because it’s going to be sub four degrees overnight – especially with these beautiful blue-sky days.  So we tried to explain the need for a beanied head to retain heat, a track suit to provide extra layers, and thick Explorer socks for your feet, even in the worlds warmest sleeping bag, because it will be DAMN cold.  But no, our very own Solo man wouldn’t take a jumper to sleep in – a t-shirt will be fine.  I guess if he’s desperate he’ll just have to sleep in his army uniform!!

I am sure Man-Child II will thoroughly enjoy the camp.  Who wouldn’t relish some time in the great outdoors, hiking, training, bonding, whilst soaking up the cool, crisp, warmish winter days.  If per chance he does freeze his arse off, I’m sure he’ll never admit it to me.  Maybe Father of a Man-Child will have to do the scouting on this one.  And let’s just hope it doesn’t end the same way as the last school camp he attended (see the post below for more about that).

https://motherofamanchild.com/2011/03/25/mother-of-a-man-child-trouble-on-school-camp/

 

Mother of a Man-Child: Row, Row, Row Your Boat! April 1, 2011

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I love rowing!  Or more precisely I love my men-children rowing.  As my friends all say, the best way to keep a teenager out of trouble is to keep them busy.  So the more sport they do the better.  Bring it on!

Now that’s not to say that we love everything about rowing.  I can’t say we’re huge fans of the 6am starts, at least 3 days a week – including Saturday.  There goes the weekend lie in!  Thankfully Father of a Man-Child volunteers to take them most days – that’s because he’s one of those lucky people who can walk in the door 20 minutes later, hop back into bed and be snoring, I mean slumbering again within 30 seconds of his head hitting the pillow.

I, meanwhile, am still wide awake having heard all the preparations to get them out the door, and thinking damn I can’t go to 6am gym class because that would mean leaving 7-year-old daughter asleep in an empty house for 10 minutes. (I kid you not I am on my own here.  There are a few gym junkies I know who don’t even blink at leaving their kids in bed whilst they exercise – they just leave the phone number of the gym)!

The upside of the early morning starts is that the men-children cannot possibly be late for school on these days – there’s no excuses when they’ve been there since 6am is there?  And they get to eat breakfast – what man-child would turn down bacon and eggs before school?  I think Man-Child II tries to balance being early by being extremely late on the other days, just to ensure he doesn’t look like he’s being a model student.  The only problems arise when they forget something important, like school shoes (doh), and expect Mother of a Man-Child or Father of a Man-Child to take time out to drive through the madness that is school traffic to deliver them.  If it’s lunch, trust me we wouldn’t bother.  They can go hungry or buy something!

Of course with rowing (just like with rugby) comes a whole new world of language that is completely foreign to me.  There’s the ERGO’s (short for ergometer) they do on a regular basis (a simulated rowing machine basically to measure their performance) and the quads, fours, eights, sculls, firsts, seconds (referring to crews) and then cox, stroke, bow (boat positions) etc.  I know the cox is typically a smaller boy and sits at the front of the boat, but that’s about all.  And then there’s unique rowing terms to learn, like “catch a crab”, “jumping a slide” and “feather”.  And we’re not at a beachside playground.

With every new sport comes equipment, in this case there’s the specialist (read expensive) uniform, a rather snug all in one rowing suit.  Naturally my men-children being very different, one wears this with pride, as do all the senior rowers, and the other one simply believes it’s far too “gay” and therefore chooses the fitted shorts and singlet – really it doesn’t look very different, but psychologically it clearly is!  We should be thankful they don’t need any shoes for rowing – saves us a small fortune having them barefoot.

For a short period this season the boys actually ended up in the same quad crew – it didn’t last very long, but it’s bound to happen again.  Part of me thinks it’s a good thing they’re apart, and part of me likes the idea of them doing something together in a small team – good for their mutual respect for each other.  We’re yet to attend our first official regatta for the boys.  I’ll be fascinated to go to a Head of the River event as a parent to see how it compares to those I attended at Barwon River as a teenager.  Just like the Melbourne Cup, we weren’t there to watch the rowing (or horses), trust me!

“Ready all, Row”

 

 

Mother of a Man-Child: Travelling Light Teenager Style September 10, 2010

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Have you ever watched a teenager pack to go away?  Girls being girls they pack everything except the kitchen sink.  I mean you can never have too many pairs of shoes can you?  Boys on the other hand are in the minimalist camp – why take something just in case – that’s excess baggage!

Typically as a mother I always worry about what my Men-Children pack to go away.  If it’s a school camp, I insist they take absolutely everything on the list provided (yes, I was always very obedient).  If we’re going on holidays, I like to have a list so we don’t forget anything.  They on the other hand are always aiming for light and lean – why take long johns on a winter camp to the foot of the snow ranges – it won’t be cold Mum.   Clearly they didn’t attend the Boy Scouts (motto “Be prepared”).

My favourite is overnight stays.  That takes packing light to another dimension.  Basically, my boys pack nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  They go in the clothes they have on their back, and come home in the same clothes.  They don’t take a change of jocks, or a toothbrush, or deodorant.  I thought it was only my two but when their mate turned up at the door the other night to stay, I was greeted by a boy with the same approach.  His mother didn’t seem phased by it, and surprisingly nor was I – I was actually amused and quietly relieved that I don’t have the only unhygienic children in Melbourne.

The funniest was Man-Child II who recently travelled to Tasmania to play rugby.  As they were representing school they had to travel in their school uniforms (yes they were not impressed) and appear in them each day, before the match.  Both my son and another boy who were billeted out decided the only sensible thing to do was to sleep in their school uniforms!  That meant they didn’t have to change from boxers into school uniform into rugby uniform twice a day.  I guess it’s efficient, but not what I call normal.  I can only hope their hosts assumed they were eager to get dressed each morning, and didn’t realise they had actually slept in their school suits.  Just as well I wasn’t there to see my son looking decidedly dishevelled in his uniform each day! 🙂