Mother of a Man-Child

My life with teenage boys

Mother of a Man-Child: Can you be Facebook friends with your kids? June 3, 2011

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I love Facebook.  Those of my friends on Facebook know I’m pretty active and I like to share various things with my connections, whether that’s a strongly held point of view, a cute something my daughter said or did, or even my blog posts (clearly since I write this blog I am probably what some would call an “over-sharer”.)

I like sharing, and I like my friends sharing with me.  Whether it’s the minutiae of their life, or a significant life event, it’s a great way to stay in touch with lots of my friends, family and past colleagues that I wouldn’t otherwise catch up with, whether they live around the corner, interstate or overseas.

My men-children have been on Facebook for a few years now.  Naturally they have amassed a huge number of “friends”.  One has almost 500 friends and one over 900 friends.  Now obviously the term friend is used pretty loosely when it comes to Facebook.  I mean really, how many of them are real friends as opposed to loose acquaintances who just happen to be on Facebook.  And let’s face it (like that pun?), Facebook are doing a very diligent job of late trying to “supersize” us all by shoving every random, vague friend connection down our throats!!!  I too could amass a vast number of friends if I really wanted to.  Just like on twitter (a load of twat I hear you say?).  I mean how many followers is too many – 8000, 20,000?

What is always interesting for me is whom my men-children choose as friends and more importantly whom they don’t.  I know my boys are friends with their cousins and even some aunts.  But they wouldn’t dream of being friends with me, or their father for that matter.  I’ve noticed one or two of my friends who are actually Facebook friends with their teenage kids, but that’s the exception not the rule (they are obviously VERY cool parents!!!)

So it was with some amusement that a couple of my son’s friends sent me a request to be their friend on Facebook last night.  At exactly the same time! Hmmm.  I immediately thought they were having a joke at my expense (they probably were).  And then I thought okay, why not?  Then at least I can see what they write on their walls and what my men-children write back.

So I accepted their friend request.  An hour later my son came downstairs to tell me I had to “un-accept” their friendship on Facebook.   “You can’t be their friends, you’ll see what we talk about” he protested.  Yep!  So he accessed my account and organized for our short Facebook friendships to end – but not before I’d had a quick look at the walls and checked out the minutiae of the men-children’s lives – it’s dead boring really!

Assuming that Facebook is still around when they’re “adults”, I am confident I will eventually win true Facebook friend status with my sons.  For those who can’t imagine life without it, just think of MySpace (Mywho???).

I’d love to hear from you about your experiences on Facebook?  Am I alone in having children who couldn’t possibly befriend their mother on Facebook?  Are you friends with your children, or nieces and nephews?  What would you do if you saw something inappropriate?  Stay silent, tell their parents, or comment on their wall?  I know it would take all my discipline not to say something if I was friends on Facebook with my men-children, so maybe it’s for the best. 🙂

PS.  A chance conversation with father of a man-child just alerted me to the fact that he is in fact friends with one of our men-children.  What!  How did I not know this?  I have a lot to catch up on……who knows what stories and secrets lay hidden in the pages of Facebook?  LOL.

 

Mother of a Man-Child: Instant Gratification November 9, 2010

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What is it with Gen Z, the Millennial Generation – they want everything NOW.  Take my men-children.  Last night they asked if they could buy the latest PS3 COD (Call of Duty) game (“Black Ops”), apparently due for release today.  My first response was a simple “no”.  This was followed shortly afterwards by “Put it on your Christmas list”.  They thought I was joking – I wasn’t.

Now let me explain my problems with this request.  Firstly, the current COD game (Modern Warfare 2) is in my mind quite repulsive.  It’s rated MA15+, as it should be, and is a modern war game with explicit violence.  So lots of shooting, guns, soldiers, artillery, etc, but the piece de resistance is the blood splatters on the inside of the TV screen each time the player is shot.  Gross.

My second problem is the compulsion amongst today’s teenagers to have everything ASAP.  They are constantly seeking gratification – instantly.  They can’t wait for anything.  Unlike their parents (or more realistically their grandparents) they SAVE for nothing – they want to buy right now, with my money of course.  Give them a few years and they’ll buy everything on credit, or worse still on an “interest free” deal with hideous interest charges hidden in the contract.  Harvey Norman stands to make a fortune on them in years to come!

Of course in some ways they are a product of their environment – with the internet, they wait for nothing.  Information is at their fingertips, their friends are en masse via social media, news and gossip is instantaneously communicated via Twitter, Facebook, or worse still published for posterity on Youtube.  No wonder the thought of waiting for anything is ridiculous to them.

I asked the boys if any of their friends got the game today – yes it seems.  One of them (also 14 years old) was apparently allowed to go and queue at a store from midnight last night.  Another’s Mother dropped him at a store this morning at 5am to queue to get his order.  I’m not sure what they were thinking, but their priorities and mine don’t match.

And with Year 8 exams just around the corner the last thing mine need is another mind-numbing PS3 game to play 24/7.  In fact I’ve just unplugged the wireless modem to ensure there’s no internet for the rest of the month, and therefore no Facebook, but plenty of time for practice exams and revision.  I kid you not after 15 minutes sans internet both my boys are wondering around looking completely at a loss as to what to do, and searching for ways to avoid homework.  Clearly we should have done this sooner!