Mother of a Man-Child

My life with teenage boys

Breaking News: Man-Child cleans his room! August 30, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mother of a Man-Child @ 7:12 pm
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rubbish bagsOMG, a major victory in the home of the men-children – one of the boys has voluntary cleaned his bedroom.  The reason for my excitement – it’s actually the man-child who was content living with crap from one end of his room to the other, carpet no longer visible beneath the growing pile of clothing, bags, shoes, papers, beer boxes etc.

I came home last night to find two full garbage bags sitting in the family room.  Naturally I enquired of Father of a Man-Child about the contents, sure they were yet more bags of donated footy boots that would live in our house for another four months.  You can imagine my surprise when he told me it was the clothing that our man-child had sorted in his bedroom and decided he no longer needed.

I was temporarily dumb-struck at the news, before sheer excitement overtook me.  I asked for a celebratory drink, and raced upstairs to see the impact of the purging.  The fact that one can now actually see the carpet in man-child’s room is excitement enough.  He has removed the largest piles of offending items, and begun the process.  Before you get too excited, it’s not quite spotless yet (he has the high standards of a neat freak to live up to remember) but he’s made a great start.  The cupboards have had a good clean out, his clothes now have a place to live, and he even has a bag full of items he intends to sell.

I asked if he was going to continue with the clean-up project, grateful he said yes, albeit “eventually” (let’s not overdo it on the first day).  But just to have agreement that he will tackle his desk in due course, and also remove and/or sort out all the bags, scooter, gym weights etc on the floor of his room is cause for further celebration.

Now you may ask what led to this change of heart?  I certainly have.  Father of a Man-Child thinks it just takes a while for the message to sink in, so perhaps it has been delivered often enough that it finally took hold (definitely a possibility).  In my most recent letter to them following WWIII in our home, I did describe his room as positively “vile”.

Man-Child was also recently the recipient of two wonderful pieces of memorabilia for his room – a framed football jumper and a framed collection of his rowing photos and medals, which I think he realises, will look great in his bedroom if it’s clean.  In its current state you wouldn’t even notice the frames.   Of course he only has to look at this brother’s bedroom to see the idyllic state his room could be in – perhaps that finally inspired him also?

So, a small victory for Mr and Mrs Tidy Town (that’s us), and a major leap forward for our Man-Child.  I will gently encourage him to continue the clean up (don’t rush me Mum), and maybe even offer to help (who knows what I might find though).

As they say, and I concur, “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”.  I have already said my little prayer of thanks to the man above. 🙂

 

More Man-Child Mess August 16, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mother of a Man-Child @ 5:00 pm
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clean meAs a self-declared neat freak, and very organised person, it pains me to live with the mess of teenage boys. More than two years ago I wrote of my frustration with the lovely conditions that one of my sons chose to live in – not surprisingly we are still living with the same mess (I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the original stuff is still on the floor from my post of July 2011)!!

So what is a neat freak to do? Well we told the cleaners to stop at his bedroom door years ago. Just don’t bother, leave it alone, you can’t see the carpet anyway. Naturally, they can’t help themselves, so they pick up some of the stuff, pile it on his bed, and give part of the floor a cursory vacuum (I feel their pain).

Just tonight said Man-Child declared his room was so messy because his brother is constantly throwing things in the room, a tactic learned from their father, who used to put the dirty frying pan in the bedroom of the offender, when it wasn’t washed. Well when I looked I didn’t see any signs of recent rubbish, dirty breakfast bowls, half eaten pizza crusts, or empty stubbies. I saw a mixture of paperwork, leftover bedding from sleepovers, sports bags from past camping trips, music systems and gifts from Christmas, and crumpled clothing that he will either wear tomorrow or wore a year ago!

After more fighting upstairs recently between the men-children (it’s STILL a common occurrence) I told both of them that at a minimum I expected them to keep their common areas tidy and free of each other’s dirty clothes, crockery, rubbish, etc, but that they could keep their rooms as they chose. Except, it still pisses me off that one bedroom is a veritable swamp!

Tonight, I had a light bulb moment, inspired by the cleaner’s pile of whatever on the bed. I decided I now have two options: I will either bag up everything on the floor and dispose of it in plastic bags (or at least park it on the back porch), or better still, I will just open the cupboards (basically empty) and shove it all in there where I can’t see it, and quite frankly he can just forget about it, freeing the floor for the cleaners, me from further pain, and man-child from some ghastly disease as a result of the bacteria growing in his room.

I mentioned to him that I had a brain wave, and that I would take action on the weekend. Man-Child was filthy at me, and made various threats about what he would do if I set foot in his room. So I intend to stew on it for a few days and then consider implementing my plan. Let me know your thoughts please. Do I have the right to go into his room and clean it up (as the cleaners do)? Am I invading his privacy by doing so? I’m not snooping, just picking stuff up off the floor. He is almost 18, but I am his parent, and it’s my house! Am I crossing the line or not? Any other ideas about how to approach the problem, apart from therapy? Yours in hideous chaos, Mother of a Man-Child.

Here’s the original post about the mess: https://motherofamanchild.com/2011/07/22/living-with-man-child-mess/