“She Knows Everything” declared Man-Child II to Man-Child I recently. Yes, they were referring to me, Mother of a Man-Child, who stood calmly in their midst, delighted that her men-children had finally conceded nothing escapes me!
Naturally Father of a Man-Child concurs – I seem to recall his speech at our wedding more than 20 years ago, which centered on the theme that his new wife would “always be right” and he would “always be wrong”, and that’s just the way it was going to be for ever. This was much to the amusement of gathered guests and meant half in jest of course. 20 years on, I suspect that poor Father of a Man-Child thinks that he’s never spoken a truer word in his life, and he had no idea how prophetic his words would be.
So back to the story that led to the wondrous proclamation of my skills. 🙂 Man-Child I had been out to a party, arriving home before midnight. I let him in the door just as a friend left our house; he literally bounced in the door, all smiles and slightly glazed eyes. It took me less than a nano-second to process that information as I farewell-ed our guest.
Shortly afterwards I casually wandered upstairs to see the boys. Our conversation went something like this:
MOMC: How was the party?
MC-I: Yer, good thanks.
MOMC: What did you have to drink?
MOMC: Don’t bullshit me (insert name), of course you have.
MC-I: How can you tell?
MOMC: I just can. It’s not hard.
MC-II (twin brother): There’s no point lying (insert name). SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING. Don’t worry you won’t get in trouble. She’s okay with a few drinks.
MC-I: Okay, I had a few beers.
See, nothing to it. Out came the truth. Apart from relishing the fact that they had recognised my amazing skills, I was actually pleased that he had admitted he’d had a few. Having remained surprisingly calm (no real harm was done after all) it will hopefully ensure open dialogue the next time too.
Of course it also reminds me how naïve a 15-year-old can be. I too was a teenager who no doubt also thought my parents would be too stupid to know I’d had a drink, regardless of my glazed eyes and swaying stance. It was surely only me that could feel my tongue not quite managing the words properly and my brain synapses a little dull – surely no-one else would be noticing would they?
So around and around the circle of life goes. I too had a “Mother Who Knows Everything” and “Father Who Knows Everything”. Obviously they taught me well!