Sometimes my men-children will share some random piece of information with me. At the time, I typically think nothing of it, said information being fairly innocuous, but some days later, it’s more than likely that small but important piece of data will be linked to an event, and all the pieces will fall into place!
Here’s a recent example of the plotting and under-handedness of my men-children. As is the practice in private schools, as we all know, the more you pay, the less time they attend. So as we approach the end of their school term and the year, exams have been finished (that was a painful period trust me) and they are preparing for two months holiday (geez, I’ll be lucky to ever see long service leave and they get this every year).
Man-Child I casually mentioned to me the other day that his teacher had told them: “Off the record boys, as next week is the last week of school, it doesn’t really matter if you come to school or not on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, but make sure you’re here for Monday (results day) and Friday (last day).”
My first thought – well, that’s a fabulous attitude to have in a school with fees the size of the national debt of Greece! My second thought – hell no, I want to reduce their school holidays, not increase them.
So my response to my son: “You are going to school next week. Every day. I think that’s the wrong attitude for your teacher and the school to have. Blah, Blah…….” No doubt I ranted for a few minutes, as I tend to do, and no doubt Man-Child I stopped listening after the first 5 seconds. But really, the message was pretty simple. Go. To. School.
Hence you can imagine my surprise earlier this week when I received a call from Man-Child II. He was at a school, but apparently his brother was not. Upon the Head of Middle School noticing this, he asked my son where his twin brother was. And realizing he had not attended school, simply said “Ring your Mother”. Now for those who are wondering, the Head of Middle School happens to know us and our sons particularly well, having had several visits to his office during the year. And clearly he knows who the boss is in our place – good call!
So I ring Father of a Man-Child first, to check what he knows about this situation. He assures me that he told him to go to school, having found him lolling about in bed well after he should have headed to school.
Next I ring Man-Child I, who naturally doesn’t pick up the home phone or mobile. So I text him: “Get your arse to school. You don’t have permission to stay home. Call me ASAP”. Reply: “I’m at (Aunt’s) house, doing work for her. I told Dad that. And my form teacher even said it’s up to you and you parents if you come to school, ‘cause today we don’t do anything.”
So here’s the thing. I obviously didn’t approve and had made my intentions pretty clear last week. Father of a Man-Child didn’t approve, but clearly didn’t put his foot down quite strongly enough, and so Man-Child I takes the usual liberty and decides for himself that he now has tacit approval from said parent not to attend school. Grrrr.
The up-shot of all this. I eventually spoke to Man-Child I on the phone, and told him to get to school (insert very colourful language by mother at this point of the conversation). He finished the job he was doing, and headed home only to discover himself locked out of the house. Naturally he had left his house key and brain cells at home earlier that morning. So he never made it to school.
Mother of a Man-Child: 0. Man-Child I: 1. Damn, I so hate to lose. And am now giving Father of a Man-Child lessons in how to be much a much more hard-nosed parent – problem being he’s always been a softy, so it’s a bit of a stretch. Hence it invariably falls to me “Gina” (the hard-faced-bitch) every time.
PS. In case you’re wondering, no that is not a picture of me in the photo – I look far younger!!! LOL!