Mother of a Man-Child

My life with teenage boys

Changing man-child dynamics March 29, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mother of a Man-Child @ 5:00 pm
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twin toddler boysNothing makes a mother happier than hearing her children get along, actually talking like friends, genuinely interested in each other. On occasion I stand at the bottom of the stairs, a silent observer, enjoying listening to the men-children’s conversation. At other times, they hear me arrive at the bottom of the stairs, abruptly stopping their conversation, and asking me if I want something (sprung)!!

Around 18 years ago, funnily enough we did the same thing.  Father of a Man-Child and I used to stand at their bedroom door, listening to them “talk” to each other, in their wonderful baby babble, cooing and gurgling from one cot to another. It was incredibly special to witness and something I will never forget.

Growing up as a twin myself, I realise how fortunate I was to have an in-built playmate.  As a parent of twins, it was similarly wonderful to have two boys to entertain each other constantly.  They rarely fought until their teenage years, when as the arguments escalated (along with their surging hormones), I recall telling them that as much as they “hated” each other at the time, eventually they would be incredibly close and enjoy each other’s company regularly, just as my twin sister and I do now.

We were very similar as teens – growing up in a house of four girls, all close in age, and very different personalities, there were plenty of cat fights.  My twin and I were as opposite as the men-children, which of course always leads to conflict. But over time, as our paths diverged, we naturally seemed to come back together.

I now delight in seeing similar behaviours amongst my own boys.  I think as they have matured, and followed their divergent interests over the last 12 months, the dynamics of their relationship are changing.  I honestly believe they are actually growing to enjoy each other’s company, at the end of their working and school days, discussing common interests (cars does it every time), or common friends and acquaintances.

I was taken by surprise recently when one admitted to me he was actually “jealous” of his brother (and it wasn’t the one I expected to say it).  It told me that for all the bluster, deep down there is mutual admiration and respect, and that they really do care for each other.  Hence my absolute confidence that they will be firm friends during their adult years.

What will be interesting will be to see how their relationships form with their younger sister – the 7 year age gap may have an impact on their adult relationships, but there are many factors that can influence how that evolves.  I hope it is as strong as my relationship with my siblings.

How has your relationship developed with your siblings? Did it improve over time? Do you now have close relationships?

Almost 3 years ago, I saw a glimpse of friendship between them – most likely short-lived at that time of their lives: 
https://motherofamanchild.com/2011/07/15/do-the-men-children-actually-like-each-other/

 

4 Responses to “Changing man-child dynamics”

  1. Laura Says:

    Great to see the blog continuing KM even though the “Men-Children” are now officially adults! Keep up the great work – always enjoy reading 🙂

  2. momocular Says:

    I enjoyed this (having two sons and having grown up with only sisters myself). Siblings bonds are wonderful, intricate, complicated things. My sisters and I get along very well now, and I hope the same will be true of my sons.
    Looking forward to reading more!

    • Thanks momocular. I was the same, growing up with only sisters, all wonderfully close. I can’t imagine a family where the siblings don’t get along (from my personal experience), so I hope our children replicate that closeness, on the basis of their own childhood up-bringing.


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