Mother of a Man-Child

Like all growing families, we have contemplated the need for more room, to house the needs of a growing family. When our daughter came along, we converted what was an odd-shaped “study” into a quaint little girls bedroom. And in fact it has served her very well, although it’s not large enough to accommodate all her toys, and it’s opposite her brothers bedroom which isn’t ideal when she’s trying to go to bed at night.

Actually to be completely rational, it’s not really about extra space, more about the floor plan that we currently have and the fact it no longer works with teenagers and a 6-year-old girl. In the interests of giving the boys some independence, we have allowed them to take over the formal lounge/study as their own, so they can sit in there with mates on their PS3, play music, chat with friends, watch TV, chat on Facebook (yes all simultaneously) whilst leaving us in peace. It works to a point, but at night when our daughter is trying to go to sleep, the doof doof coming from the room next door is not exactly conducive to slumber.

My husband always used to complain about everyone being in the family room when they were younger. I said yes, that’s the point, family room, where the family congregates. And whilst that’s definitely ideal when they are young, and you want to keep an eye on them, it’s actually less useful as they get older.

So after much deliberation, some thoughts about moving, some depressing attempts to bid on properties we thought were ideal (but clearly beyond our budget) and general agreement that we all love our current location, we’ve decided to go up. Not as many expect with the luxurious parents retreat (however tempting that may be) but actually to put the boys upstairs. Imagine the bliss for them with a large bedroom each upstairs, a shared bathroom and living room, away from the “rents” (that’s parents for those who missed my earlier glossary of terms) and a space they can call their own.

Imagine the bliss for us to have them upstairs, and not have to hear the sounds of their world wrestling antics, doof doof music, or to see the unkempt bedrooms, complete with wet towels on the floor, dirty clothes littering every room, the wet bath mat on the floor permanently (why hang it up?), dirty cups and plates on the floor……

Now I realise we need to consider a few things if the plan is to succeed:

1. We need to ensure the architect does everything he can to sound proof upstairs
2. Assuming polished concrete is not possible as a floor substance, then we want the best industrial strength carpet money can buy, in the best colour to hide dirt
3. I will probably have to pay the cleaners danger money each week to walk upstairs and clean, but that’s better than me doing it
4. On a quarterly basis we will have the fumigation team in to ensure no bacteria/toxic outbreaks are thriving upstairs
5. Oh and maybe we should get windows that we can schedule to open on a timer – so a good dose of fresh air regularly rids the area of teenage boy smells…..

If we can achieve all this, I have no doubt both our teenagers and we parents are more likely to survive the next 5 years with our sanity intact. I will draw the line at putting in a hoist that doubles as a laundry chute and food elevator – it’s not a hotel (even though the boys treat it as such often……).

Now to hurry up the council – I want those plans approved so we can all achieve this state of blissful co-habitation as soon as possible.