Mother of a Man-Child

My life with teenage boys

Deciphering Man-Child language April 16, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mother of a Man-Child @ 10:48 pm
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We all know the language used by teenagers – normally a grunt and some incomprehensible words if you are lucky.  Oh and maybe a passing text message if they think you might like to know their whereabouts.  And a “pleeeaaaasssse” said ever so sweetly when suddenly they want something, or need a lift somewhere, or extra pocket-money, or are in trouble at school and want a note for the teacher.

I am always amused by the TV ad for Nutrigrain that features a young 14-year-old surfer, grunting so sweetly at his smiling mother whilst they translate on the screen for the audience.  I guess it’s funny, except it’s so far removed from reality for this mother of teenage children that it’s almost offensive that they’ve laced this situation with saccharine.  I guess since I worked in advertising for more than 15 years I’m the ultimate cynic and the harshest critic when it comes to a slice of reality in advertising.

Anyway, in the interests of my audience I thought it might be useful to provide you with a glossary of terms that our teenage children are currently using, so you can at least attempt to decipher some of their mutterings, and maybe, just maybe, not embarrass them with your “old-fashioned” sayings – yes something our children often comment on – talk about make you feel ancient!

Here’s the current list, which I may need to add to over time.  And credit where it’s due – this was put together with the assistance of Man-Child I and Man-Child II.

  • CBS = Can’t be stuffed
  • Tank = Buff.  (In my day “tanked” = pissed)
  • Tight = Strict.  (In my day “tight” or “tight-arse” = someone who was not generous with their money)
  • Rents = Parents.  Yep, that’s us……LOL
  • Scarn (said bogan style)  = What’s going on?  This is currently the voice mail message of Man-Child I – not very polite is it?
  • Mint Biddy = Good looking girl.  Guess it’s the opposite of old biddy – at least the biddy bit hasn’t changed!
  • Youse arkin’? = Are you arking up?  (Interpretation – messing up)
  • G-Fez = Glenferrie Road.  Sounds like a strange sort of hat if you ask me.

There are another couple of acronyms, but not appropriate on the WWW.  But trust me, if you hear your kids say or use the phrase “DMC”, whack them first, ask questions later.  🙂


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